that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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