Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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