Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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