So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
