Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
