the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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