Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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