Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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