this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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