hotel room ftw
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
