I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I have feelings that need drinking.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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