No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
