new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize