so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
