we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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