can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
