Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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