Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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