it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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