cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
