if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize