He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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