Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
