Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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