He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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