You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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