Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize