So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
