Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
