how can u be prego again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
