I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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