Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sext me about skeletons
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
