turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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