Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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