I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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