Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
