So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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