He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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