Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
