Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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