Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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