i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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