Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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