hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
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We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
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I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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