someone get that fucking seahorse.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
