dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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