I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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