gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
