God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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