i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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