I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
