I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
