Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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