Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
