Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
