so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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