meet me or not, i'm out of control
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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