he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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