I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
