how can u be prego again
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
