My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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